Sunday, June 29, 2008

Much of wedlock consists of two persons in mortal emotional combat for dominance and power (Contribution)

I was recently asked to give a re-assessment of a document first published 40 years ago, which made a great splash at the time.

The document was called 'Humanae Vitae', and I had, of course, condemned it when it appeared in July 1968.

My generation's reaction to it was the Catholic equivalent of the Bob Dylan ballad The Times They Are A-Changin.

The 1968 headlines summed up the papal encyclical with a pithy dismissal: "Pope Slams Birth Control."

That was it.

Silly old Pope Paul VI.

He hadn't cottoned on to the idea, at all, that the times they were a-changing.

So, when asked to re-assess it, 40 years on, I actually read the encyclical from start to finish, which I had never deigned to do before.

It begins -- "Humanae Vitae tradendae munus gravissimum ... " The English goes: "In their function of transmitting human life a married couple freely and responsibly collaborate with God. Though many hardships may ensue, their task is also one of joy."

As I read on, the text struck me as lyrically poetic and idealistic. One commentator had called it "the triumph of theory over practice". But theories and ideals we also must have.

"The love between the couple is faithful unto death, as both the bride and bridegroom know, the day they freely make their vows to keep the marriage bond.

"To live by this is difficult but not impossible, and from it flows a wealth of dignity."

Surprisingly, the encyclical is in parts progressive. It condemns coercive sex -- what we would now call marital rape. "Intercourse is not an act of love once it is demanded regardless of the partner's state or feelings. Such a demand goes right against the moral order that should reign within a couple's close relationship."

It is sensitive to such issues as women's changing roles, and concern about over-population: " ... the rapid growth of births, and growing fear that human life may far outstrip the means of its survival." It affirms the "right use of reason" in the exercise of "responsible parenthood" and accepts that issues can be multi-faceted.

It doesn't claim -- contrary to legend -- that couples should have as many children as possible, and allows that there may be good reasons for family limitation.

But still, there at the heart of the matter is that which begat the worldwide headlines: Pope Slams Birth Control.

It concedes that procreation is not the be-all and the end-all in the conjugal relationship. "Procreation is a goal ... but not for each and every act of love." But it still affirms that conjugality must "stay destined towards a chance of life".

And here's the corker: "Human procreation is not a thing a couple can decide upon just as they please, without a thought for our Creator's plan." This is where the encyclical belongs to a way of thinking that has almost passed away: we now think we can decide upon anything just as we please.

The encyclical supposes all kinds of ideas that have now disappeared: for example, taking for granted that sexual relations are only licit between a married couple. Indeed, taking for granted that the fruitfulness of sexual relations means that only heterosexuality represents the natural law.

Humanae Vitae is not as black-and-white as it was painted in the media at the time. (And how critical it was of the media! "Mass media today can be abused, by putting over dirt and deprivation." Prettier in the Latin -- "communicationis instrumentis sensus commovet dissolutosque mores".)

Yet it recommends an ideal that most people can never match -- and admits as much. "Steady self-control" is required in matters of love and family life: and sometimes "you have to be an ascetic" to master this. It recommends the "rhythm method" of natural fertility because "such discipline requires a constant effort ... and helps a married grow in grace."

Even those who disagreed with its findings at the time (many Catholics, including the Pope's own Papal Commission, said that sensible family planning should have been given the green light) were also too idealistic. Even the dissenters believed that the conjugal life of most couples was dedicated to a perfection of holy matrimony.

If only! Much of holy wedlock consists of two persons in mortal emotional combat for dominance and power. Holy matrimony is also bickering, fights, walk-outs, petty jealousies, sulks, grievances, dark resentments, and being driven demented by hearing a spouse's repeated old jokes. Factor cat-and-dog domesticity into the equation, Papal Commission!

An Irishwoman, a mother of 10, upon hearing a celibate priest preach on the ideals of marriage and parenthood in Humanae Vitae, was said to have sighed: "I wish I knew as little about it as he does!"

And yet for all that, it remains a fascinating historical document, conjuring up a high-minded vision of a gentle and considerate Christian couple finding rapture and fulfilment through the sunny uplands of the right moral order.
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